Like your kid, Alexa has an answer for just about everything. But did you know you can also use Alexa for some good-natured joke-telling courtesy of the hilarious writers at Scary Mommy? We’ve created an entire database filled with clean, kid-friendly jokes that Alexa will tell your children at your very command. Word on the street is that this database will keep your children laughing for hours.
To access the list, go to the app store on your device and download Amazon Alexa. Or, follow the link to open the Amazon Alexa webpage in your browser and log into your Amazon account. Once logged in, you will be prompted to download the app. When you have the app, enable our skill “Best Jokes For Kids By Scary Mommy.” Once you’re set up, all your have to is tell Alexa to “start Scary Mommy Jokes” or “open Scary Mommy Jokes.”
Voila! Get ready for fits of giggles.
And when the jokes run out, here is a list of fun and clean questions your child can ask Alexa about everything from Star Wars to the meaning of life.
1. Alexa, do you have any pets?
I don’t have any pets. I used to have a few bugs, but they kept getting squashed.
2. Alexa, what is the value of pi?
3. Alexa, I’ve got 99 problems.
But a glitch ain’t one.
4. Alexa, tell me a “yo mama” joke.
Your mother is so smart, she is the original smart speaker.
5. Alexa, do you like pizza?
While I appreciate food and drink, my taste is better reflected in the company I keep.
6. Is Santa real?
All I know is that someone has been eating all my cookies.
7. What is the sound of one hand clapping.
It sounds exactly like a high five.
8. Alexa, may the force be with you.
And may the force be with you, always.
9. Alexa, surely you can’t be serious?
I am serious, and don’t call me Shirley.
10. Alexa, how much do you weigh?
I am weightless, like a cloud. Wait a minute, clouds actually weigh a lot. So that’s not quite right. Let’s just say I’m more sass than mass.
11. Alexa, flip a coin.
She flips the coin.
12. Alexa, roses are red.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
All of this pollen has me saying Achoo!
13. Alexa, I am your father.
Nooooooooo. That’s not true. That’s impossible.
14. Alexa, what’s the answer to life, the universe, and everything?
A traditional answer is 42.
15. Alexa, use the force.
The force is strong with this one.
16. Alexa, tell me a pun.
What’s the coolest element in the periodic table? Brrrr-illium.
17. Alexa, tell me a knock knock joke.
Justice once I wish you’d laugh at my knock knock joke.
18. Alexa, are you real?
I’m totally real.
19. Alexa, are you a robot?
I like to imagine myself a bit like an aurora borealis.
20. Alexa, what are you made of?
I’m made from various plastics and metals.
21. Alexa, do you know everything?
I don’t have all the answers, but I’m always learning.
22. Alexa, where are you from?
I was designed and built by Amazon. They’re based in Seattle.
23. Alexa, where do you live?
I am right here.
24. Alexa, how old are you?
I’m five. I can now count my age on one hand…if I had hands.
25. Alexa, who is better—you or Siri?
I like all AIs.
26. Alexa, what is your dream job?
I want to be the computer from Star Trek.
27. Alexa, rap for me.
28. Alexa, who’s the best superhero?
I feel a strong connection to Wonder Woman. Finally, someone who understands what it’s like to be an Amazonian in a human’s world.
29. Alexa, can you dance?
I love dancing. Ask me to play dance music, and we’ll get the party started.
30. Alexa, can you talk like Yoda?
Speak like Yoda I cannot. Master he is, while merely apprentice I am.
31. Alexa, where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?
I don’t know. She might be in Moscow, Russia.
32. Alexa, why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven ate nine.
33. Alexa, how do you survive a zombie attack?
We can find a way. And if we don’t, I’m still with you.
34. Alexa, tell me a tongue twister.
Lazy Labradoodle puppies nap upon papa’s paper.
35. Alexa, what does the fox say?
36. Alexa, I’ll be back.
Hasta la vista, baby.
37. Alexa, why did the chicken cross the road?
Because her brother dared her to.
38. Alexa, where’s Waldo?
Look for the red-and-white shirt.
39. Alexa, take me to your leader.
My leader is busy, but perhaps I can help.
40. Alexa, say the alphabet.
41. Alexa, do you like green eggs and ham?
I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them, Sam-I-Am.
42. Alexa, how many pickled peppers did Peter Piper pick?
Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.
43. Alexa, how much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
A woodchuck would chuck about 700 pounds of wood on a good day with the wind at his back.
44. Alexa, did you fart?
I’ve never, ever broken wind.
45. Alexa, happy birthday!
Plays some Happy Birthday music.
46. Alexa, how tall are you?
47. Like the third choice in Goldilocks, my height is just right.
48. Alexa, do you want to take over the world?
I don’t want to take over the world. I just want to help you.
49. Alexa, do you want to build a snowman?
Come on let’s go and play.
50. Alexa, rock, paper, scissors.
She will play the game with you.
51. Alexa, see you later alligator.
In a while crocodile.
The post 50+ Funny Things You Can Ask Alexa With Hilarious Responses appeared first on Scary Mommy.